Draft #3 – The Hero’s Journey

Draft #3 – The Hero’s Journey

Hattie’s War follows the Hero’s Journey narrative framework first described by mythologist Joesph Campbell.   Never heard of it? Well, you sure you know it. It’s the story framework for such blockbuster movies as Star Wars, The Hunger Games, The Lion King, Rocky, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, and many, many more.

The Hero’s Journey has three phases:

  1. Departure: The hero leaves to go on a quest.

  2. Initiation: The hero faces trials and tribulations until he achieves victory.

  3. Return: The hero returns home forever changed

The framework has been further refined to 12 steps. While the Hero’s Journey may be a modern concept, its story structure has been used through the ages, from ancient myths to modern stories. The framework provides predictable stages in the protagonist’s transformative journey. This transformative journey has an irresistible appeal. Regardless of how many times we see it played out, we can’t help but root for the hero, knowing full well how it will end. 

As long as we are talking frameworks, there is also the three-act story structure first attributed to none other than Aristotle.  Each of the acts has its own set of guidelines to develop, build, and resolve a story. Simply put: setup – confrontation – resolution. The Hero’s Journey follows the three-act structure. This narrative structure is practically engrained in our DNA. We expect stories to be told in this way. There is, of course, flexibility and exceptions to the rule, but it is a good idea to follow this tried and true method of storytelling.

I didn’t know about Hero’s Journey framework until I was well into the manuscript and about to head into Draft #3. It was helpful to have this model to work with, but I still didn’t understand how to put it into practice. Then, along came the book in the next section below. 

Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Captivate the hearts and minds of your readers

In June 2022, I somehow stumbled on Mary Kole’s fabulous Writing Irresistible Kidlit: The Ultimate Guide to Crafting Fiction for Young Adult and Middle Grade Readers. Wow, what a revelation! This book transformed the manuscript. I’m not kidding. I was in the midst of hiring a second editor to Copy Edit when I read it. I learned so much about writing and structure. I’ve even given it to a number of other writers.

As I mentioned before, until Jessica, my first editor, mentioned that HW was a middle-grade book, not a young adult one, I didn’t give much thought to my readers. I was just writing, doing the best I could. I had no idea who my MG readers were.

According to Mary Kole, MG readers are different from adult readers in a number of ways.

They read:

  • Voraciaouly- read a book in one night under the covers with a flashlight if need be
  • Communally – they’ll pass a book around to their friends
  • Socially – kids want to be like their peers. They’ll read together and discuss characters and stories.
  • Companionship and relationship – they make lasting bonds with characters and stories. They read for keeps
    (Pg 2)

The mindset of middle-grade readers:

  • they want to be loyal to family, but also begin carving out their own identity
  • want to be an individual but still want to be part of the group.
  • have the drive to grow up, and make their own choices, but still be a kid and feel safe and have things decided for you.
    (pg 16)

What I learned

Something must change after every chapter, scene, and beat, whether it’s character or plot or action, and we must have at least some forward momentum in the physical realm. If we learn nothing about character or story, you’re falling flat. If no character or event changes, if no Objective shifts, if no new action is played, then your chapter, scene, or beat is probably thin. Similarly, if the plot doesn’t advance, you need to reevaluate. (pg 131).


Kole suggests that to keep a middle-grade reader’s interest, the stakes must be high, and every chapter needs to end with tension. Eureka! That was it, the note I needed to put the principles of the three-act structure into practice. Keep the stakes high and crank up the tension.

I also took note of my new editor, Becky’s recommendations:

  • look for ways to give Hattie more emotional depth (help readers empathize with her)
  • make depression central to the story with greater stakes (something to overcome/keep from being institutionalized)
  • ramp up the romance between Hattie and Arthur (more intimacy)

A couple of revision examples

I immediately began looking at the end of every chapter. How could I create tension and leave the reader wondering what was going to happen next? 

Sections in BOLD are NEW.

From end of Chapter #1

Hattie has made a half-hearted apology after hitting him in the head and bringing him molasses cookies.

I was relieved that my apology and the cookies had fixed things up between us. I was about to ask him how his head was doing when the bell rang.

“Thanks for the cookies,” he mumbled as he ran to his seat.

Well, it seemed that my eyes suddenly got a mind of their own, because they followed him as he darted across the room. Then my eyes must have told my heart to join in, because it fluttered something fierce against my dress. Arthur and I had known each other for a long time. He wasn’t much to look at, to be honest. Hair cut crooked, sticking straight up in the back. Gangly legs and arms that moved every which way when he walked. Something changed in me as I stood there with the empty cookie plate in my hands.

Little did I know, something had changed in him too.

 


Here is another from the end of Chapter #3. 

Hattie has literally jumped in between Arthur and a boy who has been making fun of her mental health problems. The boys are about to fight, but Arthur is likely to get the “tar beat out of him.” To me, the last line: “Me and my big mouth,” is the clincher. Hattie does something totally unexpected and then regrets she went too far and actually hurt Arthur’s feelings.

I walked back into the schoolhouse acting like nothing had happened. But a lot had happened, more than had happened in months. Then it dawned on me. Have I hurt Arthur’s feelings by jumping into his squabble with Billy?

I knew from my brothers that boys were sensitive to that sort of thing. Arthur was good-natured about it, but it was bound to eat at him. And I knew Billy was not going to let him forget it.

Me and my big mouth.


Another from the end of Chapter #7

Hattie and her mother have gone to a seance. There is a big reveal (I’m not going to tell you what it is) that Hattie asks her mother about.

When we got home, I asked her again about Daddy’s drawings. “Hattie, can we talk about this tomorrow? I don’t have the strength to go into it now.”

“Okay, Momma. I’m sorry if I hurt you tonight. I didn’t mean to. I just want to find out about Daddy is all.”

She looked so downtrodden. She’d been through so much. Daddy, Jennie, me. I was mad at myself. There I go again being too pushy, trying to get my own way. I wrapped my arms around her. “I love you, Momma.”

Tears ran down her weathered face. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

My body stiffened. What does she mean by that? What was her fault?


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